(Reporting from a real life event- an almost verbatim transcription)
“Emptiness which is conceptually liable to be mistaken for sheer nothingness is in fact the reservoir of infinite possibilities.”
D.T. Suzuki
I met a person yesternight; she said that she does not recognize boundaries to her beingness.
She said that her agenda is: Unlimited freedom of being.
I asked her to explain.
This she said:
“I am a web without a spider, which is how I mind my body; I map myself upon the boundaries I perceive.
It used to be that the multitude that constitutes the web that is ‘I’ seemed like a dead end, a street going nowhere, apparently a paradox.
Until recently I was busy trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to conquer the differences between my dissimilar desires, between the push and pull of my complex emotions, this I do no more.
I do not try anymore to describe the complex realities of my life in terms of comprehension, or realization, it made me tired, it made me stupid, I stopped.
It is not so much that I had a new understanding as the simple fact that I have deep feelings for a variety of causes, events and persons, minds and circumstances, so many feelings in fact, different and diversified that I thought to myself: “trying to make sense of it all is an impossible task.”
So.. Let it go..
The thing is, that being the web that I am, embedded in a web of trusted friends, I was not alone, my friends did not let me unravel the seed of my freedom into apparent apathy, which truth to tell, secretly I know to be laziness.
I am smart, yes, and clever to boot, and I thought I was blocked; this did not make sense, not to me and not to my friends. They did not look at me as a woman, not even as a mother, in fact gender plays no dramatic role in our communications, emotions do, intelligence does, beauty indeed.
In a very real sense then, I took it upon myself to connect the different dimensions of my life through a simple act of release, a kind of letting loose certain ideas about how things ‘should be’ and allowed a new description of my life to come forth.
That is when the flow took over, and to be honest I am still in the process of understanding what exactly it is that I mean when I say that my agenda is: Unlimited freedom of being.
I do not truly comprehend what it is that I am stating, but I have a sense of it, a glimpse if you like, it is a statement that kind of untangles the knots of my existence, it puts my child in perspective, it puts the insemination in a greater context, it in a way connects my past and my future into a moment of pleasure, the pleasure of being me, now.
It is very clear to me now that I am storytelling my mind in the fashion that fits my existence best, I am learning the composition of narration and structure and the importance of being accurate in my reflections, but I do not rush, slowly I’ll weave this statement into a real life event.
So, I am not sure I answered your question, but this is a process of unfoldment, it will take me some time, a few years I gather, to see the full implications of this web, but of one thing I am certain, there is no spider in the center of the web that is I.
Btw, thank you for asking me this question, it somehow helps me clarify my present position, I’ll be sure to let you know how this story unfolds.”
—
A note:
I need say that this person is a highly intelligent and gentle creature; she is a person that I consider to be a ‘progressive thinker’, an open minded person willing to undertake a great transformation both personally and socially, and I am deeply appreciative and respectful to her ambition and agenda. Thank you.
I decided to share publicly this conversation because it was inspiring and worthwhile thinking about, I'll probably write a more extended post on the issue, sometime in the near future.
“Emptiness which is conceptually liable to be mistaken for sheer nothingness is in fact the reservoir of infinite possibilities.”
D.T. Suzuki
I met a person yesternight; she said that she does not recognize boundaries to her beingness.
She said that her agenda is: Unlimited freedom of being.
I asked her to explain.
This she said:
“I am a web without a spider, which is how I mind my body; I map myself upon the boundaries I perceive.
It used to be that the multitude that constitutes the web that is ‘I’ seemed like a dead end, a street going nowhere, apparently a paradox.
Until recently I was busy trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to conquer the differences between my dissimilar desires, between the push and pull of my complex emotions, this I do no more.
I do not try anymore to describe the complex realities of my life in terms of comprehension, or realization, it made me tired, it made me stupid, I stopped.
It is not so much that I had a new understanding as the simple fact that I have deep feelings for a variety of causes, events and persons, minds and circumstances, so many feelings in fact, different and diversified that I thought to myself: “trying to make sense of it all is an impossible task.”
So.. Let it go..
The thing is, that being the web that I am, embedded in a web of trusted friends, I was not alone, my friends did not let me unravel the seed of my freedom into apparent apathy, which truth to tell, secretly I know to be laziness.
I am smart, yes, and clever to boot, and I thought I was blocked; this did not make sense, not to me and not to my friends. They did not look at me as a woman, not even as a mother, in fact gender plays no dramatic role in our communications, emotions do, intelligence does, beauty indeed.
In a very real sense then, I took it upon myself to connect the different dimensions of my life through a simple act of release, a kind of letting loose certain ideas about how things ‘should be’ and allowed a new description of my life to come forth.
That is when the flow took over, and to be honest I am still in the process of understanding what exactly it is that I mean when I say that my agenda is: Unlimited freedom of being.
I do not truly comprehend what it is that I am stating, but I have a sense of it, a glimpse if you like, it is a statement that kind of untangles the knots of my existence, it puts my child in perspective, it puts the insemination in a greater context, it in a way connects my past and my future into a moment of pleasure, the pleasure of being me, now.
It is very clear to me now that I am storytelling my mind in the fashion that fits my existence best, I am learning the composition of narration and structure and the importance of being accurate in my reflections, but I do not rush, slowly I’ll weave this statement into a real life event.
So, I am not sure I answered your question, but this is a process of unfoldment, it will take me some time, a few years I gather, to see the full implications of this web, but of one thing I am certain, there is no spider in the center of the web that is I.
Btw, thank you for asking me this question, it somehow helps me clarify my present position, I’ll be sure to let you know how this story unfolds.”
—
A note:
I need say that this person is a highly intelligent and gentle creature; she is a person that I consider to be a ‘progressive thinker’, an open minded person willing to undertake a great transformation both personally and socially, and I am deeply appreciative and respectful to her ambition and agenda. Thank you.
I decided to share publicly this conversation because it was inspiring and worthwhile thinking about, I'll probably write a more extended post on the issue, sometime in the near future.







