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Marius Nedelcu (M, 35)
Paris, FR
Immortal since Dec 2, 2009
Uplinks: 0, Generation 3

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    Anybody here?
    Now playing SpaceCollective
    Where forward thinking terrestrials share ideas and information about the state of the species, their planet and the universe, living the lives of science fiction. Introduction
    Featuring Powers of Ten by Charles and Ray Eames, based on an idea by Kees Boeke.


    Today is a day just like that day, nice and sunny, the summer is just starting and the vegetation is exploding everywhere I look. It's been a while since I took LSD for the first time, about five years ago if I remember well. I was visiting a friend who happens to also be my stomatologist doctor. She took care of my dental treatment and, at night we used to party and make love. It was a beautiful synergy of sorts between us. I loved spending time with her, we were in love and we both had an exploratory mindset, a wandering courageous spirit. That afternoon I found some LSD in her fridge and asked if I can take some. She said: "Sure, but let's go to the park and, I'm not taking any. Tomorrow I wake up early for work" and off we went. We arrived there, unrolled a little blanket, and lay there with our bare feet in the grass.

    I took a deep breath, I was a bit nervous, but decided to take that LSD quickly and move past the "what it shoulda coulda happen?" I asked for the thing, she gave it to me, a nice little blotter of about 150 micrograms. I relaxed instantly after. It had no taste whatsoever, I kept it under my tongue till it melted away. We continued to talk, we were looking at the sky, at the people, laughing, carrying on as usual.
    - But I don't feel anything, I said.
    She looks at me, looks at her wristwatch, and says:
    - Give it another ten minutes. And she smiles with her lovely big beautiful smile.
    - Alright
    And she was spot on with her estimate, 10 minutes later I began to feel some very subtle changes in the way I was perceiving sound. It seemed like I could visualize every moving object that was making sound, a train approaching, birds singing, a plane flying up in the sky. I could somehow accurately position each and deduce their trajectory. It felt as if I had a bird's view, perspective on my entire field of perception; involved and detached at the same time. At that very moment, I knew the profundity of LSD. It felt very much like technology for the mind. I got up, slowly and I turned around observing. I was caught at the moment, fully immersed in what was happening around me. My friend asked me how do I feel, I answered something like, it's absolutely amazing wooooooow, and she said giggling:
    - Yess I know it's extraordinary, isn't it?
    - Yeaa,...
    And so I began to tell her about how I could feel and sense profoundly everything around me. 20 minutes into the trip, I express my wish to be alone. I wanted to dive deeper into my mind, and while interacting with her I would revert to habitual patterns of thinking. She understood, asked me if I'm sure I can take care of myself, I said yes, and off she went with the blanket and everything. I walked with her a bit then we parted ways and I went towards the side of the park with the big trees. A magnificent view of the last sun rays, blasting an orange light through the branches and leaves, a gust of wind making a comfy crude noise gave me an unusual bodily sensation as if I would be caressed by the leaves moving. I was in ecstasy entirely in love with the trees, with nature, and with everything around me. Such a beautiful moment, of exquisite beauty it touched me to teas and so, I went closer to the trees, hidden from the alley and I sat there, legs crossed, leaning with my back on a tree.

    I closed my eyes and began to meditate. I could feel the protective energy of the tree, something akin to the presence of a wise old grandpa. It was intense, and without words just vibrationally we would be sharing something very special. Our human words cannot convey rightly what happened there. I sat in that spot for hours and thought through everything I knew since I was born. I was supported and encouraged by my tree and all the trees around me. I was allowed to enter the energetic field of nature, where information was flowing in an infinitely interconnected network through every living being, including me. It was only revealed to me, I was part of it since forever. I realized nature is not something out there, but inside here, in my body, I am intimately connected with every other living entity on this planet, human or not, and with our mother planet earth. I could only laugh at how silly I was to believe otherwise. All the wrong motivations and ideas were nullified in a fraction of a second. I have been duped, deceived by the man-made world to believe it's real. It ain't. And I felt sad about the way we disconsidered nature and we cut forests to build cities and we burn and slash everything around us for nonsensical reasons. I wanted to do something about it, right there at that very moment. I knew our place is in the forest, living, being connected, being free from bullshit desires, this constant attack of the man-made, man-governed world. Let nature do its thing, and nature made me understand it's all passing. We're passengers, and in the vast history of the earth, we're just a blip. Maybe an accident? but I pondered that too... our worthiness and found we're also worthy. It felt as if I went through a tornado in my head, all these thoughts would resonate in my body, the noises of the night would turn louder, crickets, frogs, owls, and a plethora of noisy insects. I could have been scared but I choose not to be. Litte eyes were looking at me from everywhere. It was the LSD hallucination, it does that to vision. I looked up at the sky, a full moon surrounded by layers of clouds beautifully lit by its silver light appeared to be radiating out, extending downward towards me. It was so beautiful. I thought to myself; an angel could come all the way down from the sky descending all those fluffy clouds like a staircase. It was a long intense night and I lost track of time long ago. I got an SMS from my friend asking if I was ok, I said yes, and in about half an hour I was headed back home.
    Wed, May 19, 2021  Permanent link

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    A night without stars and moon, without the noisy insects and the scary owls. We're here in the park of unknown fears negotiating our happiness. A gust of wind, breaks the silence long-settled between us. It's time to choose, she said;
    - Will you go?
    - I will.
    - How far will you go?
    - As far as I have to go.
    - Will you stop?
    - No.
    - Do you still love me?
    - No, I do not.
    - I hate you.
    - I don't care.
    He turns to leave, she grabs his hand,
    - Wait (She takes his hand and pulls it between her legs, under her skirt.) You forgot to say goodbye...
    - You know I know.
    - I do, and you still want to go?
    - Yes.
    - Then go. she pushes his hand away, looks him in the eyes, and shouts at him: Go! Leave!
    He turns around, pulls out a napkin, wipes his fingers walking away, without saying a word.
    Mon, May 3, 2021  Permanent link

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    Often when I shower, I switch off the hot water. There is space of 1-2 seconds until the cold water starts pouring, and during that time, I try to prepare mentally: Do not react - breath in, and remain calm. The cold water runs on my body, I begin to feel a trace of that specific sensation which resemble a spasm, but I just observe, I notice a thought that comes to my mind to switch back on the hot water and alternate but then I tell myself it's just an excuse. The intense sensations wear off, the water feels cold, but my body almost got used to it, it feels more bearable. I have a different sensation now, one of general coldness all over my body but, I also notice that I am more awake. The wakefulness feels nice, and it allows me to focus more into detail on the sensations that I feel. It seems like every time I observe the sensations, the sensations change. It feels now like I'm wrapped in a cold cloth, all the while feeling the warmth inside my body. It feels nice, I like it, and I actually enjoy it. I stay a little bit more under the shower, and an idea begins to take shape in my mind.

    The way to transcend any bodily sensation is to observe it.

    You may be quick to argue, yes, but I am cold, duh, it's impossible not to notice that. Indeed but you have reacted to the coldness with adversity and not curiosity. The attention now shifted from the bodily sensation of cold to the emotional spectrum of adversity fueled by the sensation of cold water on the body. Both are evolving processes. While one gives feedback from stimuli, the other is producing a narrative.
    Fri, May 1, 2020  Permanent link

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    At the moment I find myself in a challenging situation, to say the least. The good side is that I am now able to witness the breakdown of my prior mental construct and begin to identify certain tendencies of thought determined by various states of mind. The intensity of awareness will cause the mind to shift between these various states of mind.

    Automatisms and deeply rooted behaviors hinder the expression of original thought. In understanding the forces at play in this equation, one can rise above a limiting state of mind and accede to a higher degree of awareness. In doing so, I believe one becomes of service to himself and anyone who encounters.

    Being alive is a gift. It is a magical experience, to say the least. The mind seems to have an innate tendency to bring predictability within this amorphous potentiality. Even if life unfolds in front of our eyes. This (sometimes) compulsory act of (wanting) to manifest our desires is man's most intriguing capacity. Decisions, desires, loves and fears are at play along with aspirations and inspiration, beliefs, imagination, energy, and perseverance.

    In adopting a free, unset mind one develops an intimate relationship with the universe and implicitly with himself. Know thyself.

    THE LOWER STATES OF MIND

    Dragged
    I can also easily call it an unaligned state of mind. When (in some situations) contradictory desires bring about situations where one feels lost, confused and weak. The imaginative capacities of the mind are diminished, the joy, the happiness is gone and what is left is an endless chasing of something that appears more and more unattainable.

    Worried
    When the mind simply bounces between ideas, memories, emotional traumas, it starts combining and re-combining experiences into future scenarios or past scenarios meant to validate or invalidate the current state of affairs.

    Contained
    When one feels that he lost freedom. The freedom to choose to think about what he wants, the freedom to desire and pursue what one desires. It so happens that our very desires trick us into this kind of trap where instead of getting closer to our selves we're being molded into a certain character.

    THE HIGHER STATES OF MIND

    Focused
    When I merge in intensity with my utmost genuine desires, the mind goes into a state of flow. In this state, one is fully present and absorbed into his action. The inspiration just flows, the thing gets done perfectly well with no conscious effort.

    Present
    When one chooses to not think about the past, nor the future. One simply takes life as it is, and deals with challenges as they arise. There's a subtle interplay between desires and action here because some desires can pull you out of the present moment.
    Fri, Jul 26, 2019  Permanent link

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    Recent AI news: Better language models and their implications

    > We’ve trained a large-scale unsupervised language model which generates coherent paragraphs of text, achieves state-of-the-art performance on many language modeling benchmarks, and performs rudimentary reading comprehension, machine translation, question answering, and summarization — all without task-specific training.

    read more & script at https://blog.openai.com/better-language-models/

    Even for someone who doesn’t understand much about AI, neural networks and data it takes just a minute or two to read a few of the examples and begin to wonder… Ok, what else can we do that computers can’t do?

    This GPT-2 AI script can read, understand and answer questions from text. Feed it a paragraph of text and it can write an extended article based on the general ideas defined in the first paragraph. The researchers did not outsource the full code because they were afraid it will be used in malicious ways. Is this enough to ensure humanity’s existence? Cope that kind of intelligence with a body and you’ll be amazed.

    A dystopian future where humans will fall in love with bots, will be persuaded to buy stuff and will be dependent on each and every domain.

    let’s be together and explore our uniqueness.
    Sun, Feb 17, 2019  Permanent link

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    QU

    Qu is a typeface inspired by the golden section. When I began to work on this I didn’t know I will make a typeface, It all started as a mere study, I was intrigued by this proportion because it holds a mystery hidden in plain view. Everywhere it’s being used, makes things look good. It often shows up in nature. From the pattern of a pineapple to that of shells and even the human body carefully measured will reveal the same mysterious numbers. The units consisting the grid resulted from the systematic fragmentation of a golden rectangle. Once I obtained a unit that allowed me to build a grid inside of that golden rectangle I made the letter A and from there on followed the rest of the alphabet, in uppercase, lowercase then the numbers and some glyphs.

    I think Qu transcends the notion of a basic font. It looks best in large formats headings and single word titles but that is just my perspective on it, I will share a demo version of Qu with you please use it, play with it and see where it takes you.

    The rest of the font is currently in the making, I’m producing language – specific glyphs and other characters.

    construction
    numbers
    Uppercase
    Smallcaps
    Fri, Sep 19, 2014  Permanent link

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    bruce Lee

    Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless. like water.
    You put water into a bottle it becomes the bottle. you put it into a tea-pot it becomes the tea-pot. Water can flow, or it can chrash. Be water my friend.


    ^ video

    On my wall I have a poster of Bruce Lee and one of Pharrell Williams. These are my two heroes.

    I admire Mr. Lee, His agility, his strength, mental and physical. His capabilities almost defy human nature. And he is also funny.

    For me, he is like water. Always unique but still the same in each and every character he played. He was versatile and amazing in his style. Internally flawless. Constantly focused, free, humble. extraordinary individual, His death rather mysterious seamed like he passed in a different state. He volatilized.

    Water, Unlike a rock. Is in motion. A mere wind-blow will change it's appearance. In nature it is constantly circulated. It evaporates it flows, it solidifies.

    Water is just water, the same everywhere, it permeates trough different kinds of matter and and makes up all life on earth.

    Water can blend with other substances.

    Water can crash and grind rock. It is constantly exerting it's force. Walking on the beach you may find rocks and other objects shaped by the sea. By mere curiosity pick one rock and look at it... How does it seams ?

    It is unique, you can search the whole day you will never find another one like it.

    It is whole, brought by nature to a good state of perfection, it is full from inside out.

    Break it open and it will reveal a bit of her mystery. Her interior will seam fresh. Brand new. You can guess it's composition in the irregularities of the crack or in the patterns just revealed. It's like a glimpse into her story, it tells a bit more about where it came.

    A rock is ageless.
    A rock is patient
    A rock is hard and changes slowly.

    pharrell

    The other poster on my wall is of Pharrell Williams. He seams so much like a rock. With a solid core, ageless, mysterious, Some rocks may change their appearance depending on the angle or the light in which you see them. In the same way he is a product designer, artist, producer. Lately he seams to bee everywhere and collaborating with everybody and that is just crazy.

    So those are my two heroes and how I see them. Which one are yours ?
    Sun, Jun 8, 2014  Permanent link

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    Simplicity is not an objective in art, but one achieves simplicity despite one's self by entering into the real sense of things. - Constantin Brancusi.


    Brancusi

    Yesterday i visited the Atelier of Brancusi located in immediate vicinity of Centre Pompidou in Paris. He wished, to have his atelier rebuilt as accurate as possible with all the sculptures which exist within it, at the time of his death, if possible inside Musée D'art Moderne.

    The space where it is now is maybe better. It has a transparent roof which allows natural light to pass and the glass walls to offer a complete view from all sides.

    I tried to imagine him, an old man with white beard and moustache, wearing his white salopete and his cap, in the atelier working on the sculptures. It didn't work. Even if the tools were in their place, the table, and his chair, the blocks of marble ready to be chopped it was something that was sabotaging my exercise of imagination.

    His sculptures. They stand out within the simplicity of his atelier like relics from another world. The exquisite beauty crack your understanding of physical reality. When you look at them a sudden thought goes trough your mind: "they do not belong to this word". - The object presented in front of me absorb by attention. I see a duck and i think, oh yes I know, this is a duck; and stop this mental thread. The opposite happens once you look at his sculptures. Your mind gets more inquiring and notices certain details in the lines, in the reflections that overwhelm you with a pleasant feeling, you begin to see,... to see something amazing: objects with soul.

    Brancusi LEDA
    Mon, Apr 21, 2014  Permanent link

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    Often times when I take the metro and sit down on a chair I look at people around me and think, what is in their mind? I observe their behavior, some play games on their phones, some read, Today a girl was doing her lessons, writing nervously skimming trough her courses, underlining paragraphs, jotting notes, just as she would be in a library. The guy on my left was playing a game on his iPhone, The lady on my diagonal was staring absently into a void. She was not there probably she even missed her station. The guy in front of me was rolling his eyes gazing at the ceiling then over the window at people on the platform again at the ceiling, leaning twisting his whole body and spinning his head, making a forced unnatural move. He also had a weird silent laugh and was whispering words to himself which makes me think he was a bit insane. En fin.

    Majority of people in the metro prefer to kill their time, one way or another. While their body sits abandoned on a chair the mind wanders into unknown realms. In the metro we share the same space only physically, mentally we are somewhere else.

    How would it be like to reverse this, to have the mental landscape brought there into that lousy metro compartment and make abstraction of the body. That would be very interesting to see I think.

    image from http://www.davidoreilly.com/films/the-external-world/ 
    Tue, Nov 19, 2013  Permanent link

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    This will be about learning, and the pleasure I discovered in acquiring new skills, making new connections in the brain, creating new meanings etc. I believe learning new things is one of the most beautiful things in this world. Last week I began an experiment and I would like to report on it.

    The question was:
    Is it possible to teach my left hand to write? The answer is yes.

    But that is not the only conclusion I arrived at, the more important thing that I discovered is that intensive concentration on this made me feel very good after each session of intensive practice. It gave me a kick of dopamine or whatever, when I finished the first sheet of lines I was tired but feeling so good.

    So, The experiment consisted in making lines with my left hand on a sheet of paper. One after another, simple lines made with a pen. First row was easy second was a bit messed up, third I noticed myself finding it harder and harder to maintain focus, Slightly shifting to absentmindedness, on the fourth one I took a break to relax a bit than continued. The first lines made after the short break were much better, continuing like this for another 4 minutes I found my focus fading away again, but I kept on forcing it as hard as I could for another 2 or 3 rows, than took another break to relax my hand. When I got back to the task I noticed I can make the lines with greater ease. I was very happy to see some improvement!

    This is how it went till the end of the page, me trying to stay focus as much as I could on the lines. It was not easy, (got a slight headache) but I leaned into the pain trying as much as I could to do straight lines.

    Next days I continued and noticed it was much easier, third acceptable, but noticed that I was starting to get bored with this activity and lost some of the initial enthusiasm(second thoughts like:this is a waste of time) but I managed to motivate myself, I said: it's an experiment I have to cary it out correctly so I kept on focusing, when I've done with that I wrote a few sentences with my left and they were looking promising. Fourth day and so on I stick to the task and made my lines.

    I scanned the pages, here they are day one to day six from top down.

    Ps, if anyone can give any tips or suggest a better method to improve my focus and left hand dexterity please let me know in the comments. Also material about learning and synaptogenesis. I think I'm onto something here, the fact that focusing hard gave me a kick of dopamine makes me want to doit more and better.
    Wed, Jul 31, 2013  Permanent link

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