psyoko  
Wed, Feb 20, 2008
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2 comments
is one of these waters perfect for you?
Project: The Voyager update project
on behalf of myself and my branding group, i present to the internet a collection of waters for different kinds of people:

water for stamp collectors
water for miniature train set conductors
water for crossword puzzle solvers
water for crossword puzzle solvers that defected to Sodoku
water for nudists
water for people who like Star Wars
water for people who like Start Trek
water for people who think Star Wars and Star Trek are the same thing
water for car enthusiasts
water for animal enthusiasts
water for people who go to the gym a lot (to exercise)
water for people who go to the gym a lot (to check out chicks)
water for people who prefer tape over glue
water for people who use paper towels as real towels
water for people who take their shoes off when they are home
water for people who make other people take their shoes off inside oftheir homes
water for asians who only eat sticky rice
water for people who always wear shorts
water for people who always wear sandals
water for people who read books inside Barnes and Noble
water for people who only light their cigarettes with matches
water for people who drive hybrids
water for people who think the answer to stopping war is a t-shrit
water for people from Berkeley
water for people who believe in global warming
water for people who think people who believe in global warming arehippies
water for people who ride bikes or take the bus (by choice)
water for people in approval of abortion
water for people who think abortion is murder
water for people who think illegal immigrants are taking their jobs and draining the economy
water for people who employ illegal immigrants
water for illegal immigrants
water for legal immigrants
water for hoes
water for OGs
water for pimps
water for homies
water for dudes
water for chicks
water for douches (the people)
water for dawgs
water for dogs
water for boyz
water for boys
water for gurlz
water for gurls
water for girls
water for USC fans who hate UCLA
water for UCLA fans who hate USC
water for Angels fans who hate the Dodgers
water for Dodgers fans who hate the Angels
water for Yankees fans who hate the Red Sox
water for Red Sox fans who hate the Yankees
water for Clippers fans who hate Kobe
water for Lakers fans who think the Clippers don't deserve to play at the Staples Center
water for Ducks fans who hate the Kings
water for Kings fans who hate the ducks
water for people who use butt plugs
water for people who use dildos
water for people who use booty beads
water for people who use "the rabbit"
water for people who use condoms
water for people who don't use condoms
water for people who think sex toys are "yucky"
water for people who wear edible underwear
water for people who eat edible underwear
water for people who ate real underwear they thought was edible
water for people who use vibrators
water for people who use bananas (for girls)
water for people who use banana peels (for boys)
water for people who use lubrication
water for people who think Jamie Kennedy is funny
water for people who know Jamie Kennedy isn't funny
water for people who listen to Dane Cook
water for people who listened to Dane Cook before he was famous
water for people who were sad when Heath Ledger died
water for people who think Anna Nicole Smith married for love
water for people who think Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston made a cuter couple
water for people who with they were Hugh Hefner
water for people who wish they were a playmate
water for people who think Sean Connery was the best Bond
water for people who like to talk like Sean Connery
water for people who like other people of the same sex
water for people who like other people of the opposite sex
water for people who like other people with straight teeth
water for people who like other people with love handles
water for people who like other people who are hairy
water for people who like other people who have great personalities
water for people who like other people, personality optional
water for people who like other people with tattoos
water for people who like other people taller than themselves
water for people who smoke ("Cool" brand only)
water for people who like Eminem
water for people who think they are the real "Slim Shady"
water for people who like nude beaches
water for people who like cage fighting
water for people who like things that are fast
water for people who like things that are on fire
water for people who think bigger is better
water for people who wear their hat sideways
water for people who wear their pants below their waistline
water for people who have an iPhone
water for people who are on Trimspa
water for people who are on Jenny Craig
water for people who are on Nutrisystem
water for people who are on Ephedra
water for people who don't eat carbs
water for people who are on Weight Watchers
water for people who are on Lindora
water for people who exercise and eat less
water for grammar nazis
water for neo-nazis
water for white supremacists
water for xenophobics
water for people who think high schoolers shouldn't use facebook
water for language purists
water for people who are bad sports
water for people who only appreciate radiohead
water for perez hilton
water for people who read celebrity gossip blogs
water for people like maddox
water for people like ann coulter
water for people who post antagonistic comments on youtube
water for people who write in caps
water for nondrivers who command the car radio
water for cockblockers
water for people who use silverware from the inside out
water for people who are always late
water for people who chew with their mouths open
water for people who invite themselves to parties
water for people who covet their neighbors' wives (or husbands)
water for americans who don't make an effort to learn the language of the land when travelling
water for people who use both armrests in movie theaters
water for people who spam their friends
water for people who talk really loudly in elevators
water for people who need to turn every statement into a sexual innuendo
water for people who eat the last cookie/slice of cheese/foodstuff on the plate
water for people who smile at babies
water for people who say thank you
water for people who have firm handshakes
water for people who look at you when they talk to you
water for people who look like their smiling even when they're not (not in a creepy way)
water for people who hold the door open for you
water for people who will back you up if you're in a jam
water for people who are honest because they know it's in your best interest
water for people who embrace their personality quirks
water for people who are NICE
water for people who can stay up all night talking with their friends
water for people who respect your privacy and space
water for people who can take a joke
water for people who procrastinate
water for people who can't stand up for themselves
water for people who are WAY too emotionally invested in sports
water for people who are easily distracted
water for people who are flaky
water for pushovers
water for people who are addicted to reality television
water for people who keep eating even if they're full
water for people who keep drinking even if they're drunk
water for people who pick their noses
water for people who bite their nails
water for people who are married to their job
water for people who curse in regular speech
water for people who make others nervous by being fidgety
water for Christians
water for Catholics
water for Mormons
water for Muslims
water for Jews
water for Buddhists
water for Jehovah's Witnesses
water for Agnostics
water for Atheists
water for Spiritualists
water for Hindus
water for Protestants
water for Shintos
water for people who make under $30,000
water for people who make $30,000 to $45,000
water for people who make $45,000 to $60,000
water for people who make $60,000 to $75,000
water for people who make $75,000 to $100,000
water for people who make $100,000 to $150,000
water for people who make $150,000 to $250,000
water for people who make more than $250,000
water for people who have no income
water for Latinos
water for Blacks
water for Caucasians
water for Asians
water for Pacific Islanders
water for East Indians
water for Middle Easterners
water for Native Americans
water for mixed Ethnicities
water for people who are attracted to Latinos
water for people who are attracted to Blacks
water for people who are attracted to Caucasians
water for people who are attracted to Asians
water for people who are attracted to Pacific Islanders
water for people who are attracted to East Indians
water for people who are attracted to Middle Easterners
water for people who are attracted to Native Americans
water for people who are attracted to mixed Ethnicities
water for people who are straight
water for people who are gay
water for people who are lesbian
water for people who are bisexual
water for people who are Asexual
water for Transexuals
water for Transgenders
water for Transvestites
water for Pansexuals
water for people who are unsure of their sexuality
water for people who refuse to state their sexual orientation
water for Capricorns
water for Aquarius'
water for Pisces'
water for Aires'
water for Taurus'
water for Geminis
water for Cancers
water for Leos
water for Virgos
water for Libras
water for Scorpios
water for Sags
water for people who are mentally healthy
water for people who are depressed
water for people who are bi-polar
water for people who have A.D.D.
water for people who are paranoid
water for people who are O.C.D.
water for people who are schizophrenic
water for people who have anxiety
water for people who are angry
water for people who are happy
water for people who are un-happy
water for people who are passive-aggressive
water for people who are single
water for people who are in a relationship
water for people who are in an open-relationship
water for people who are engaged
water for people who are married
water for people who are divorced
water for people who are swingers
water for people who are widowed
water for people who are separated
water for people who are in a three-way relationship
water for the slave class
water for the lower middle class
water for the upper middle class
water for the upper class
water for the destitute
water for the bourgeoise
water for the classless
water for people born in the year of the rat
water for people born in the year of the ox
water for people born in the year of the tiger
water for people born in the year of the rabbit
water for people born in the year of the dragon
water for people born in the year of the snake
water for people born in the year of the horse
water for people born in the year of the sheep
water for people born in the year of the monkey
water for people born in the year of the rooster
water for people born in the year of the dog
water for people born in the year of the pig
water for people who believe in life after death
water for people who believe in nothing after death
water for people who believe in reincarntion
water for people who believe in souls roaming the earth after death
water for people who believe they rejoin their ancestors after death
water for people who believe in heaven after death
water for people who believe in hell after death
water for people who believe in purgatory after death
water for people who idolize death
water for people who are terrified of death
water for people who accept death as being the next phase
water for people who honor the dead
water for people who celebrate the dead
water for people who see ghosts
water for people who have had a near-death experience
water for people who have tried to contact the dead
water for people who have no idea what happens after death
water for people who are pro-choice
water for people who are pro animal rights
water for people who want universal healthcare
water for people who want to preserve the environment
water for people who are against gay marriage
water for people who want creationism in schools
water for people who are pro-choice
water for people who are anti stem cell research
water for people who are pro net neutrality
water for people who want to legalize marijuana
water for people who want to save the polar bears
water for people who are against drilling for oil in alaska
water for people who are dutch
water for people who are french with a bit of german
water for people who are english, scottish, and native american
water for people who are chinese and japanese
water for people who are spanish and norwegian
water for people who are iranian and american
water for people who are canadian, phillipino, chinese and thai
water for people who are icelandic and mexican
water for people who are pakistani
water for people who are korean, italian, and a bit vietnamese
water for people who are swedish and irish
water for people who are australian and turkish
water for people convicted of aggravated assault
water for people convicted of embezzlement
water for people convicted of espionage
water for people convicted of boating under the influence
water for people convicted of treason
water for people convicted of battery
water for people convicted of indecent exposure
water for people convicted of credit card fraud
water for people with no convictions
water for people convicted of DUI
water for people convicted of tax evasion
water for people convicted of drug possession
water for people who are allergic to peanuts
water for people who are allergic wool
water for people who are allergic bee stings
water for people who are allergic pollen
water for people who are allergic chocolate
water for people who are allergic strawberries
water for people who are allergic gluten
water for people who are allergic penocillin
water for people who are allergic latex
water for people who are allergic cats
water for people who are allergic soy
water for people who aren't allergic to anything
water for people with a degree in english
water for people with a degree in medieval literature
water for people with a degree in education
water for people with a degree in statistics
water for people with a degree in astrophysics
water for people with a degree in geography
water for people with a degree in political science
water for people with a degree in linguistics
water for people with a degree in economics
water for people with a degree in psychology
water for people with a degree in applied mathematics
water for people with no degree
water for people who jet ski
water for people who go scuba diving
water for people who surf
water for people who swim
water for people who water ski
water for people who play water polo
water for people who go kayaking
water for people who are into synchronized swimming
water for people who wind surf
water for people who go water rafting
water for people who are into offshore powerboat racing
water for people who row
water for people who ski
water for people who ice skate
water for people who like to go sledding
water for people who are into speed skating
water for people who go ice fishing
water for people who like a good snow ball fight
water for people who dabble in curling
water for people who play ice hockey
water for people who race dogsleds
water for people who cross country ski
water for people who snowboard
water for people who go ice swimming
water for people who are bipolar
water for people who have Boanthropy
water for people who do not have a mental disorder
water for people who are schizophrenic
water for people who have avoidant personality disorder
water for people who have narcolepsy
water for people who have narcissistic personality disorder
water for people who are a kleptomaniac
water for people who have seasonal affective disorder
water for people who have dissocial personality disorder
water for people who have borderline personality disorder
water for people who are pyromaniacs
water for people who are acrophobic(heights)
water for people who are claustrophobic(squeezy spots)
water for people who are Achluophobic (darkness)
water for people who are Dendrophobic (trees)
water for people who are Heliophobic (sun)
water for people who are Genuphobic (knees)
water for people who are Elurophobic (cats)
water for people who are Coulrophobic (clowns)
water for people who are Barophobic (gravity)
water for people who are Atelophobic (imperfection)
water for people who are Tachophobic (speed)
water for people who are Porphyrophobic (purple)
water people who (can) program in Java
water people who (can) program in C++
water people who (can) program in Perl
water people who (can) program in Fortran
water people who (can) program in Python
water people who (can) program in Lisp
water people who (can) program in Ruby
water people who (can) program in PHP
water people who (can) program in JavaScript
water people who (can) program in Actionscript
water people who (can) program in APEX
water people who (can) program in HTML
water for people who are in kindergarten
water for people who are in elementary school
water for people who are in middle school
water for people who are in high school
water for people who are in military school
water for people who are in boarding school
water for people who are in liberal arts college
water for people who are in university
water for people who are in graduate school
water for people who are in medical school
water for people who are high school dropouts
water for people who are technical school
water for people who are bookaholic
water for people who are chocoholic
water for people who are workaholic
water for people who are shopaholic
water for people who are danceaholic
water for people who are listaholic
water for people who are shoeaholic
water for people who are foodaholic
water for people who are pokemonaholic
water for people who are musicaholic
water for people who are movieaholic
water for people who are hataholic
water people who live in a house
water people who live in a condo
water people who live in a apartment
water people who live in a duplex
water people who live in a mansion
water people who live in a loft
water people who live in a town house
water people who live in a boat
water people who live in a trailer
water people who live in a submarine
water people who live in a log cabin
water people who live in a cardboard box
water for people who like action
water for people who like animation
water for people who like comedy
water for people who like documentary
water for people who like drama
water for people who like family
water for people who like horror
water for people who like martial arts
water for people who like musical
water for people who like science fiction
water for people who like westerns
water for people who like war
water for people who is serve in kenyan crisis
water for people who is serve in ogaden
water for people who is serve in mexican drug war
water for people who is serve in war in chad
water for people who is serve in afganistan
water for people who is serve in iraq rwar
water for people who is serve in darfur conflict
water for people who is serve in sri lankan civil war
water for people who is serve in burma
water for people who is serve in colombian armed confict
water for people who is serve in israeli-palestian conflict
water for people who is serve in ugandan civil war
water for people who is serve in somali civil war


Wed, Feb 20, 2008  Permanent link

Sent to project: The Voyager update project
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Comments:


nicksoni     Wed, Feb 20, 2008  Permanent link
I am more than one thing though, does that mean I need to mix my waters? or does it mean that I have to limit myself to 'being a person who likes comedy movies' even though I kinda like action flicks too. Dunno just wondering.
psyoko     Wed, Feb 20, 2008  Permanent link
i guess it's up to you how many types you want to get. maybe you're feeling like identifying with your ____ side one day, and another day you can be something else. we're not really making any rules; the person who consumes the water makes the decision. as such the statement the consumer makes is the only statement that is created (at least, for now. we're thinking of specific segmentation that in itself can be some kind of statement).